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Saturday, January 26, 2008

Utopia

The teacher's table had the best seat in the house. The window beside it gave a suburban view that was typically, well, suburban. Windy and quiet, except for a few occasional tricycles who drop off residents in the area. Looking outside gave a sense of serenity, it was as if you are being transported to a faraway place of peace and happiness.

The other side of that view was somewhat quite the contrary. Similar to a jungle, where chairs were facing at all directions with papers and notebooks carelessly left underneath them. Not even the threat of having them thrown out would scare them into being arranged neatly. Ever. Earlier, the view had the noisy buzz of children excited to turn in their papers after racing to finish them off. Not minding whether they wrote a more sensible answer, if not the correct one atleast. It was hard to contain them since an angry mood would result to a heavy heart and a headache. So the children were left alone to frolic in what seemed to be their little paradise a.k.a. the classroom. Playful banter, loud laughter, a few friendly punches were exchanged all throughout the morning. Silence fell only for atleast twenty minutes where everybody's brain were contemplating over malleability and volume. A sigh of relief indeed, for it was the perfect time where one can look outside the big window and feel as if seeing it for the first time. Innocence is definitely bliss. But when you'd turn your head and look at the faces of the children, you'd expect to see that same naivete, but would only realize that they somehow managed to lose it somewhere in Grade 2.

Suddenly the buzzing begins, because of this child doing this to that child and that he did it first.... it is a vicious cycle. Everyday, dancing to the same tune of childhood could either make you or break you. Choosing the latter would definitely mean wrinkles and age lines, so better prefer to letting it shape you into someone fun and exciting. Someone like them. After all, you have the best seat in the house. It would be a crime to let it go to waste.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

overworked underpaid

Isn't that the common song of people nowadays? Or perhaps people my age! or is it just me?

I never get to enjoy my atm for too long, because it gets dry after a few days from the blessed 13th and 28th.


sigh

Even though I try soo hard to put something away for rainy days, I have only permitted myself two times to actually save atleast 70%. and I thought I was trying too hard. But that 70% left me almost penniless for the next 15 days. All I could see was the next pay day so I can have some cash to burn whenever i went out of the house. Saving 70% meant that i would have to have four destinations everyday: home and school, school and home. Does that make four already?? As far as I am concerned,it will zero my real human interaction and will reduce my social circle to Friendster, Multiply and Facebook respectively.

Alain has been pounding my head to save up. Ooh, but I'm trying! I swear. Or maybe I am not really good with money. I hate the thought of "needing" things just when there is STILL money left. It feels like the money makes me want to need things.

Oh bother. F*ck this conversation with myself. I am tired. I hate it that I earn so little and that I am giving so much effort into it. Noble? Noble my ass. Nobility never fed an empty stomach, or an empty closet, for that matter! Maybe i am not up for being in the noblest profession in the world. My heart is, I'm sure, but my pocket is screaming.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Beauty of Not Being Beautiful

I would have never imagined being thankful for this so-called adverse circumstance that I perceive my life was destined to endure! And I am definitely talking about what the naked eye can see, can automatically see. Let's face it, when Nature decided to scatter good looks over the earth, I know for sure, I was in slumber, deep slumber, my friend. And in this very shallow world we are living in now, it is the pedestal for the exquisite and the pits for the not. [or odd, whatever fits.]

And this led me to utter "the beauty of not being beautiful". It was when Hanz, Deinne and I were walking towards Biong's house last night. And along the way there were groups of men (at different locations) drinking the night away. Deinne was still in her uniform and Hanz, well, he was quite dressed as a man (haha). I was wearing shorts with a big shirt, my hair was up, which I think is my ugliest. So I was very confident that they will not bother to make cat calls or shout "miss! miga!" or whatever wisecrack out of their beer-smelling mouths as we passed by.

I thought, hey! I feel sort of safe in my own skin. Haven't felt that in years. I mean, to truly feel it.

Afterall, there is always something good in what we imagined as rotten luck.

tee hee.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

The Arcana

This is extremely difficult for me, a person of great and unstoppable talk has to keep a BIG secret!!

could you just imagine how painful it is for me to lie to some of my friends?

But i know that it is for a greater cause which i hope would happen sooner. I hate waiting.

No no no, it is not about pregnancy or abortion, nor theft or illegal logging. Ambot!

It is
more complex. Hmmmm...

This shouldn't be too hard.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

It Is Finally the Last Leg

I just finished checking the Science test papers. Four failed. Well, it was quite a difficult test because you had to memorize mostly all of the topics under Plants.

What
looms ahead is the computation of the grades for the third grading period! but i should be rejoicing, for it meant, that tomorrow, is the start of the lovely fourth grading period! signaling the end of this school-year. The end of my so-called career in DPLC. Not that I didn't enjoy teaching there for two years, it's just that I feel like more is being taken than what i should be getting. Not just with the pay, but also from other resources. yadda yadda. I will not start on bickering about things that made me regret ever applying in that school. Let's look at it positively!

I have gained friends! only a few, but those whom i laugh with and can cry with! Because we all feel the same, over-worked and underpaid. That is our story. Also, let's not forget the parents and co-teachers who made it hellish for us, seeing them everyday and trying to live with them! If not only for their children! Ahck! Well, anyway, the school has taught me how to be really a teacher, all on my own! No mentoring or training could have prepared me to be exactly what I have become as a teacher. Believe me, it is sooooo different once you are standing there infront of kids, some wide-eyed, some doodling, some wanting to be right at home. But it has taught me to be a teacher, a mother, an older sister, a friend to these kids who made the two years of my life unforgettable. Very
unforgettable. Haha.

Here's to them all, kids and friends that I have made.

But
WAIT! What the hell am I talking about. THERE IS still the 4th Grading Period coming up!!

and as i know it...It is far from being over.